What is Trauma: Unexpected Ways it Can Show Up in Your Life.
Trauma is a complex and often misunderstood concept. When we think of trauma, we typically envision major life events such as accidents, natural disasters, or violence. While these are certainly traumatic experiences, it's important to recognize that trauma can also manifest in unexpected and less obvious ways.
Understanding Trauma
Trauma is a psychological and emotional response to a distressing or disturbing event that overwhelms your ability to cope. While the most common examples of trauma are associated with physical harm or extreme stress, there are other, less apparent sources of trauma that can have a profound impact on your well-being such as:
Parenting Styles: The way we were raised can significantly impact our emotional well-being. Authoritarian or neglectful parenting styles, for instance, can create a sense of insecurity, low self-esteem, and difficulty forming healthy relationships. Overly critical or overbearing parenting can lead to emotional scars that persist into adulthood.
Upbringing: Feeling secure and connected to your family, whoever makes up the family, is critical for children’s healthy development. If the environment you were raised in was marked by instability, such as frequent moves, financial stress, inconsistent parenting/ parental figures in and out of the home, or substance abuse this can cause trauma and impact your self-worth, sense of responsibility at a young age and increase chances of anxiety or becoming overwhelmed easily in adulthood.
Birth Trauma: The experience of childbirth can be a very traumatic experience for some individuals. Difficult or traumatic pregnancies and births can leave emotional scars (and physical) that can affect the bond between parent and child, and make healing from pregnancy and birth more difficult and lengthy.
Chronic Illness or Medical Procedures: Prolonged health issues, medical procedures, or hospitalizations can be sources of trauma, particularly for children. The fear, pain, and loss of control associated with these experiences can have lasting effects.
Bullying or Harassment: Ongoing bullying, harassment, or emotional abuse, whether at school or in the workplace, can lead to trauma. Victims often experience feelings of powerlessness, fear, and low self-esteem.
Infidelity: Being in a romantic or intimate relationship with someone that breaks your trust and sense of safety is damaging to not only the relationship but for your self-esteem and how you show up in future relationships. Whether you remain in the relationship or move forward, having experienced infidelity can be traumatic and have lasting effects on how you view relationships as a whole.
How Trauma Shows Up in Your Life
Trauma can manifest in various ways, and the effects are not always immediately obvious. Some signs that you might be experiencing the impact of trauma from unexpected sources include:
Anxiety and Panic Attacks: Persistent anxiety, irrational fears, or sudden panic attacks can be signs of unresolved trauma.
Depression, Mood Swings, or Numbness: Sudden shifts in mood, persistent feelings of sadness, or a lack of interest in activities you once enjoyed can indicate trauma. A general sense of numbness or “not caring” can also be a symptom of coping with past trauma experiences.
Self-Esteem and Identity Issues: A distorted self-image, low self-esteem, and a lack of self-worth can be linked to past traumatic experiences.
Relationship Difficulties: Struggles with trust, intimacy, and communication within relationships may be rooted in past trauma.
Physical Symptoms: Unexplained physical symptoms such as chronic pain, headaches, or gastrointestinal issues can also be associated with unresolved trauma.
Anger/Irritability: Feeling strong surges of anger or annoyance with others or when changes occur unexpectedly can be a sign of underlying trauma.
Self-sabotaging behaviors: Procrastination, staying up late intentionally, indulging in substances or food excessively, etc, while being aware of how these behaviors are impacting you negatively, but continuing to do them, can be a way you are seeking to cope with negative thoughts and feelings associated with trauma.
Healing from Unexpected Trauma
While the symptoms of trauma talked about here can be overwhelming and lead you to feel like you have no room for anything else, healing from trauma is possible. Taking the steps to work on your mental health and become healthier is hard, but so is living with trauma that continues to impact you and your relationships with others.
As trauma can show up in your life in ways you might not even be aware of yet, the first step is always building awareness and introspection. If you do not feel quite ready to dive into trauma-focused therapy, taking the time to practice new coping skills, reading, journaling, or practicing daily routines and self-care can help you begin to better understand and sit with difficult emotions you are experiencing.
